Hormones Of Success

Written by Pratyosh Gogoi


Sometimes, I feel pumped up; hormones rush and the adrenaline takes over

“Push the boundaries now”, my heart says; take the stride, don’t move any slower.

Another bridge after the other is crossed; everyone stay away, no, touch me not

Now is my time, let me live my life in the rain and the sun above my head so hot.

Dreams are to be fulfilled, not to be killed; let me feed them my time

In lonesome nights I will spin them lines; no I don’t care if they don’t rhyme.
Time and time and time and time; that’s all that I need, you need; that’s all our greed
Alas, there’s only twenty-four for all; let me be in my cocoon, let me succeed.
Now I know I have failed much, life’s such; thus I need to get my system up right
And though the past is blotted with black, I need to splash the red; I need the bright.

Now maybe the fan over my head doesn’t cool my room much or maybe the flares of the sun
Demonises my existence with waves of heat- choking me down my neck.
It bullies me, beats me up- on the inside, the outside, all over.
The bed creaks as I make frantic efforts of penning down the poem for the night
How swiftly my ceiling calls out- I’ll fall on you, drown you, kill you again
And the window gives no respite- it’s blocked by the house besides me- it suffocates me to know
Now I can’t breathe, there’s no air, I know it’s not fair; I have empty pockets, but I still need air.
Kops back home are missed, the tall buildings give no respite- I miss the greenery; I tell me “maybe that’s why
You write with green ink, you’re pretending to succeed as you slowly get killed like your dreams!”
On days when I get a poem done with, it’s monsoon again- the breeze blows, even though it’s slow
Under my creaking roof I sing- songs of redemption, the tension is all but gone. For now.

Further ahead on the road I see, crumbled papers of sleepless nights adorn the pavement
On pieces I discarded, I make my walk; not with remorse but with amazement. I don’t
Run over them, I read them as I go through- one step at a time- I’m slow as a sloth
To read what I didn’t find worth being read, I know what is success’s worth.
Here lies my pyre’s fuel, all around me, under my feet, on my head, in my heart
Everything starts coming back- the tear drops over ink, happiness and its dearth
In walks so slow, I  make my walk towards my goal, my milestone I need to be there soon
Don’t make me take the discarded pieces of paring, mad heart; leave them, she’s no longer your moon!
Everything seems fine and the hormones are balanced now; maybe I just found the best match
And leaving behind the past but taking the tunes along to hum- that’s the catch!

About the author

Pratyosh Gogoi

Pratyosh is currently pursuing his Masters in English from Kirori Mal College, University of Delhi. Someone who lets his pen speak for him; he is an ardent debater, writer and traveller. Hailing from Assam, he brings in a touch of the oriental in his write-ups. None of his close friends leave without a poem on a tissue when out with him.

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